30 Failures by Age 30

kat_1983Okay, this list is a little premature since my birthday is still just over two months away. But there are quite a few items on here that are unlikely to be fulfilled before mid-August.

This is not a list of specific instances of failure. It is not about self-pity. As I approach this milestone, I’m taking stock of my life and looking back at the path that brought to where I am today. I think we are formed as much by our failures (if not more) as our successes. Had I done some/most/all the things on my list, I might not be who I am today. Some things were beyond my control and others were choices I’ve made.

It is my intention to use this list as a writing exercise, to delve into each item in essay form and explore why it might be considered a failure, what I have learned from it and whether I will work to remove it from the list in the future. Yes, it sounds a little touchy-feely and that gives me the dry heaves. But, c’mon, reading about someone else’s missteps and unpleasantness is fun!

Most of the items on the list are common experiences that I either had no desire or the opportunity to do myself but may have contributed to my social awkwardness and failure to assimilate into normal society. I may not perceive them as personal failures, but someone somewhere might (“You don’t drive?! What kind of loser doesn’t drive? Tsk.”).

Enough blather. On with the list!

1. Master nice penmanship
2. Drive a car
3. Embrace organized religion
4. Attend overnight camp
5. Keep a best friend
6. Join team sports
7. Learn/speak a second language
8. Develop ample bosoms
9. Obtain healthy glow
10. Ride a roller coaster
11. Win a prestigious award
12. Own property
13. Hold full-time employment
14. Develop drug addiction
15. Exercise patience
16. Ride a bicycle
17. Leave North America
18. Get married
19. Procreate
20. Stay in hospital
21. Defend myself (physically or verbally)
22. Visit a strip club
23. Participate in public nudity
24. Stick to fitness regimen
25. Perform in public
26. Move to NYC
27. Master the art of conversation/small talk
28. Be truly selfless
29. Contract chicken pox/measles
30. Run afoul of the law

That wasn’t so scary, was it?

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2 thoughts on “30 Failures by Age 30

  1. Pingback: Failure #1: Successfully Drive a Car « katharine hearts the internet

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